High-Oleic Sunflower Oil
High oleic, high smoke point, high hopes. Turns out it’s just oil!
Green Frozen Bags
Apple Cinnamon Oatmeal Bites
Breakfast arancini! Portable! These are lil’ oatmeal bombs with a crispy breadcrumb-and-sugar crust. I air-fried them, of course. Note: They WILL leave greasy sugar fingerprints all over your steering wheel, keyboard, or crime scene.
Organic Veggie Bites
These look like beaver scat, but don’t judge a book by its cover etc etc etc! These are a space-age snack of mushed vegetables, probably a lot of potato plus three carrot cubes, formed into a dense “bite.” You bite the bite, it’s very meta. I watched as my partner spooned sour cream straight from the container, set a bite on top, and ate that, bite-after-bite. What a fright!
Frozen Orange Boxes
Mini Pumpkin Spicy Samosas
Pumpkin isn’t always pumpkin spice, okay?! Sometimes it’s SPICY. PUMPKIN. Which is even better. There’s a nice heat to these crispy samosas and more importantly, there’s salty creamy paneer in the filling.
Butternut Squash Mac & Cheese Bites
Whenever I eat finger foods from Trader Joe’s I picture myself as a wedding planner helping the lovely bride/groom decide which apps to pass around their cocktail hour. Because if I were the type of person to want to get legally bound to another human, I’d want to kick off the party with some Trader Joe’s passed apps. No one does it better!So I’d tell the happy couple, serve the butternut balls with a compostable fork because they fall apart on the first bite, not unlike the fate of this marriage. They’re still wonderful, don’t get me wrong, just don’t forget the fork, and a good attorney.
*maaaybe Cheesecake Factory does
Sweet Cinnamon Filled Korean Pancakes
Hello, hotteok! The key to preparing these from frozen is to let them defrost for 30 minutes or so, then fry them in a dry skillet for 3 to 4 minutes, but don’t overdo it or they’ll dry out and you won’t get that pillowy, chewy texture that yields to a sweet cinnamon goo inside. Love these.
Hatch Chile Quiche
Okay, so it’s a spicy quiche with a corn tortilla chip crust. Creative! The second bite brought the heat; the third brought the malaise. The center of the crust was unfortunately soggy due to the plastic tray it bakes in. Overall: really, really decent.
Eggwich Breadless Breakfast Sandwiches
The perfect square of frozen American cheese, bright, plasticky yellow circles of egg-cornstarch-milk patties—is this Lego food? The turkey sausage cooks to this gorgeous gray that only turkey can pull off. Delicious. As satisfying and greasy as a McMuffin, sans muffin. Still not sure why people are so scared of bread, but if you know, don’t tell me.